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Thread: English funny stories!!

  1. #21
    Thành viên danh dự maiyeu2307's Avatar
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    bởi hanoigio

    I have a same IQ question, please answer!


    The firmament is stygian
    Wind is Dazed
    There is a Umbrella
    Three boy is sightless
    Ask: who is is wet?
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  2. #22
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    bởi xuka
    Nguyên văn bởi Hanoigio
    I have a same IQ question, please answer!
    The firmament is stygian
    Wind is Dazed
    There is a Umbrella
    Three boy is sightless
    Ask: who is is wet?
    No one is wet, cause : the firmament is stygian, Wind is Dazed but have no rain. What and how can make them wet ?

    I have new question :

    The sky has no star, no moon
    The cart is dark-black
    The man wear dark-black coat
    There's no light, both of them
    Why : the cart and the man don't hit against ?
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  3. #23
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    bởi entivi

    Wo, after 2day, the score is 1 - 1 for Xíu kầy and Hanoi wind. Come on!!! The match's very interesting .
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  4. #24
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    I have new question :

    The sky has no star, no moon

    The cart is dark-black
    The man wear dark-black coat
    There's no light, both of them
    Why : the cart and the man don't hit against ?

    Because has sun, daylight! hii
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  5. #25
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    bởi hanoigio

    Nguyên văn bởi Entivi
    Wo, after 2day, the score is 1 - 1 for Xíu kầy and Hanoi wind. Come on!!! The match's very interesting .
    Hi Entive!
    Entivi arbitrates all right!
    We is the playing defy is in english all right glad!
    Now! continue
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  6. #26
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    Chicken Surprise
    A couple goes for a meal at a Chinese restaurant and orders the "Chicken Surprise." The waiter brings the meal, served in a lidded cast-iron pot.

    Just as the wife is about to serve herself, the lid of the pot rises slightly and she briefly sees two beady little eyes looking around before the lid slams back down.

    "Good grief, did you see that?" she asks her husband.

    He hasn't, so she asks him to look in the pot. He reaches for it and again the lid rises, and he sees two little eyes looking around before it slams down.

    Sputtering in a fit of pique, he calls the waiter over, describes what is happening, and demands an explanation!

    "Please sir," says the waiter, "what you order?"

    The husband replies, "Chicken Surprise."

    "Ah... so sorry," says the waiter, "I bring you Peeking Duck."


    Why put off until tomorrow what you can do today?

  7. #27
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    Difference between Man & Women



    1. NAMES

    If Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara go out for lunch, they will call each other Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara.

    If Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.

    2. EATING OUT
    When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom will each throw in a $20 , even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
    When the women get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

    3. MONEY
    A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
    A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need, but it's on sale.

    4. BATHROOMS
    A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Marriott.
    The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.

    5. ARGUMENTS
    A woman has the last word in any argument.
    Anything a man says after that... is the beginning of a new argument.

    6.CATS
    Women love cats.
    Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

    7. FUTURE
    A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
    A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

    8. SUCCESS
    A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
    A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

    9. MARRIAGE
    A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
    A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change , and she does.

    10. DRESSING UP
    A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
    A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

    11. NATURAL
    Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
    Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

    12. OFFSPRING
    Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
    A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

    13. THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
    Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.


    Why put off until tomorrow what you can do today?

  8. #28
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    Mistake?

    A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if she could see her license. She replied in a huff.

    “ I wish you guys could get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you.” ( It is short but very funny:smi40


    Why put off until tomorrow what you can do today?

  9. #29
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    "HOW ARE YOU?" OR "WHO ARE YOU?"

    This is a true story from the Japanese Embassy in US!!!

    A few years ago, Prime Minister Mori was given some Basic English conversation training before he visits Washington and meets president Bill Clinton.

    The instructor told Mori "Prime Minister, when you shake hand with President Clinton, please say "How are you?". Then Mr Clinton should say "I'm fine, and you?". Now you should say 'me too'. Afterwards we, translators, will do all the work for you".

    It looks quite simple, but the truth is....

    When Mori met Clinton, he mistakenly said "Who Are You?". Mr Clinton was a bit shocked but still managed to react with humour: "Well, I am Hilary's husband, haha....". Then Mori replied confidently "Me too,hahaha..".

    Then there was a long silence in the meeting room.

    (Collected from Internet)


    Why put off until tomorrow what you can do today?

  10. #30
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    Teacher: Why, boy, how is it you are so short for your age?
    Boy: I’m so busy, I have no time to grow, sir
    ----------**--------
    -“ Jimmy, why don’t you wash your face? I can know what you had for your breakfast this morning.
    -“ What was it?”
    -“ Eggs”
    -“ Wrong, that was yesterday”
    -----------***----------

    Teacher: Who helped you draw this map, Jack?
    Jack: Nobody, sir
    Teacher: Didn’t your brother help you?
    Jack: No, sir. He drew it all himself
    ----------***----------

    “Father” said John, running into the garden. “There’s a big black cat in the dining room, dad”
    “Never mind, son,” said his father “ Black cats are lucky”
    “This one is: he had your dinner”
    -------***---------

    -Tom, your homework about cats is very muck like your brother’s story. How’s that?
    -Nothing strange about it. We have only one cat at home.
    -------***---------

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