Page 4 of 4 FirstFirst ... 234
Results 31 to 34 of 34

Thread: English funny stories!!

  1. #31
    Thành viên danh dự utcung_nhome's Avatar
    Join Date
    28/07/07
    Posts
    1,383

    Default

    GOD!


    Grandpa and granddaughter were sitting talking when she asked,
    “Did God made you, Grandpa?”
    “Yes, God made me,” the grandfather answered.
    A few minutes later, the little girl asked him,
    “Did God make me too?”
    “Yes, He did,” the older man answered.
    For a few minutes, the little girl seemed to be studying her grandpa, as well as her own reflection in the mirror, while her grandfather wondered what was running through her mind. At last she spoke up.
    “You know, Grandpa.” She said, “God’s doing a lot better job lately.”


    Why put off until tomorrow what you can do today?

  2. #32
    Thành viên danh dự utcung_nhome's Avatar
    Join Date
    28/07/07
    Posts
    1,383

    Default

    Stone and Stone- Breaker


    A very strict officer was talking to some new soldiers whom he had to train. He had never seen them before, so he began:
    “My name is Stone, and I’m even harder than stone, so do what I tell you or there’ll be trouble. Don’t try any tricks with me, and then we’ll get on well together.”
    Then he went to each soldier one after the other and asked him his name. “Speak loudly so that everyone can hear you clearly,” he said, and don’t forget to call me ‘sir’.
    Each soldier told him his name, until he came to the last one. This man remained last one. This man remained silent, and so Captain Stone shouted at him, “When I ask you a question, answer it! I’ll ask you again: What’s your name, soldier?”
    The soldier was very unhappy, but at last he replied.
    “My name’s Stone-breaker, sir”, he said nervously.


    Why put off until tomorrow what you can do today?

  3. #33
    Thành viên danh dự utcung_nhome's Avatar
    Join Date
    28/07/07
    Posts
    1,383

    Default

    Most wanted


    Little Johnny’s kindergarden class was on a field trip to their locl police station where they saw pictures, tacked to a bulletin board, of the 10 Most Wanted men. One of the kids poined to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person.

    “Yes,” said the policeman. “The detectives want him very badly.”

    So, Little Johnny asked, “Why didn’t you keep him when you took his picture?”


    Why put off until tomorrow what you can do today?

  4. #34
    Thành viên danh dự utcung_nhome's Avatar
    Join Date
    28/07/07
    Posts
    1,383

    Default

    Gifts for mother

    Three sons left home, went out on their own and prospered. They discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly mother.

    The first son said: “ I built a big house for our mother”

    The second son said: “ I sent Mom a Mercedes with a driver.”

    The third son said: “ You remember how our mother enjoys reading the Bible. Now she can’t see very well. So I sent her a remarkable parrot that recites the entire Bible. The Elders at the church spent twelve years to teach him. Mama just has to name the chapter and the verse and the parrot recites it.”

    Soon thereafter, their mother sent out her letters of thanks.

    “William,” she wrote, “ the house you built is so huge. I live in only one room, but I have to clean the whole house.”

    “Arnold, she said, “ I am too old to travel. I stay most of the time at home so I rarely use the Mercedes. That driver is so rude, he is a pain!”

    “ But David,” she said, “ the chicken was delicious”


    Các món quà tặng mẹ


    Ba người con trai rời gia đình ra đời lập nghiệp và đều thành đạt. Họ bàn với nhau về những món quà mà họ có thể dành tặng cho người mẹ già của mình.

    Người con trưởng nói: “ Anh sẽ xây cho mẹ chúng ta một ngôi nhà lớn.”

    Người con thứ hai nói: “ Còn em sẽ gửi cho mẹ một chiếc Mercedes và một tài xế.”

    Người con thứ ba nói: “ Các anh có còn nhớ là mẹ chúng ta thích đọc Kinh thánh như thế nào không. Mà bây giờ mắt mẹ không được tốt lắm. Bởi vậy em sẽ gửi cho mẹ một con vẹt đặc biệt, nó có thể đọc thuộc lòng toàn bộ Thánh kinh. Những người cao tuổi ở nhà thờ đó đã mất mười hai năm để dạy nó. Mẹ chỉ cần nêu tên chương mục là con vẹt sẽ đọc cho mẹ nghe.”

    Sau đó không lâu, người mẹ gửi cho họ những bức thư cảm ơn như sau:

    “ William,” bà viết, “tòa nhà con xây quá rộng. Mẹ chỉ ở mỗi một phòng, nhưng phải lau dọn cả ngôi nhà.”

    “ Arnold, mẹ quá già để đi du lịch. Mẹ gần như ở nhà suốt ngày nên rất hiếm khi mẹ dùng chiếc Mercedes. Gã tài xế đó rất thô lỗ, hắn là một nỗi khổ tâm của mẹ!”

    “Nhưng David, con gà đó thì rất ngon.”


    Why put off until tomorrow what you can do today?

Page 4 of 4 FirstFirst ... 234

Similar Threads

  1. funny bóng đá
    By quantieuphu1102 in forum Audio & Clip Hài
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 12/10/12, 10:59 AM
  2. Học tiếng anh qua những đoạn Video funny
    By MissCindy in forum Ngoại ngữ chuyên ngành
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 16/03/09, 06:42 PM
  3. English funny stories!!(continuouss)
    By utcung_nhome in forum Ngoại ngữ chuyên ngành
    Replies: 17
    Last Post: 13/03/09, 09:45 PM
  4. Funny Fortune-Telling
    By Thuychick in forum Ngoại ngữ chuyên ngành
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 12/12/08, 11:14 PM
  5. English - Tại sao học?
    By haibkdn in forum Ngoại ngữ chuyên ngành
    Replies: 17
    Last Post: 09/05/07, 10:43 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •